December 2008
87 posts
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true or false
santa claus, the fringe mascot of christianity, is karma personified.
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i'm about to get my hair cut
i think that i’ll ask for the “junior executive.”
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riddle me this
a movie involving a kitschy christmas song where, for the climax, hugh grant and a drum playing urchin wind up center stage in a high school auditorium in a highly embarrassing situation.
why are there 2 movies that fit this description?
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activities i enjoy which make me seem like a 70...
listening to bbc radio plays
pipe smoking
not using the microwave oven
doing jigsaw puzzles (cathedrals or dogs)
letting others know that my back is acting up again
watching cbs sunday morning with charles osgood
complaining about neighbours
drinking manhattans
writing cranky letters to the editor of the local paper
reminiscing about simpler times
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size matters
increasing the size of a font wasn’t always as easy as hitting ctrl+shift+p in microsoft word. back in the 1800’s, if you wanted a bigger grunge font for the garage sale flyer that you were working on, you would have needed to purchase the larger size and redo the ENTIRE flyer. major bummer!
to keep track of all the different sizes, old skool printers gave them names. and if you think...
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evelyn waugh's last blog entry
dated easter 1965 (aged 62)
On Maundy Thursday appeared a notice in the paper under the heading ‘Death of former unionist MP’. I did not recognize this as Phil Dunne until Christopher Sykes told me on Saturday. He was my age. I last saw him just before Christmas, elegant, gay, and I thought how little he had aged compared with myself. He was completely selfish without an element of...
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now accepting nominations
for my tumblr arch-nemesis. as tumblr adversaries, we can:
reblog eachother’s posts with snarky, backhanded compliments.
refer to eachother by mad-magazine-style names (ie. if your name is artlover, i would call you fartlover). suggestions for me: douchebag, hagbag, jizzrag, ragamuffin.
post “smile friday” pictures of eachother that we have photoshopped making heavy use of the...
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cutting edge
i get paper cuts all the time and i play it totally cool like rambo would but…just now…i got an aluminum foil cut…and it really smarts. i’d rather have sex with a bird’s nest than this.
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lapsang souchong tea
blech…this stuff tastes like campfire.
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overheard at the newsstand
“…i’d rather have sex with a bird’s nest.”
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misc portmanteaux
here are some portmanteaux that i coined that have yet to catch on (and probably never will).
purpletrator: (purple prose + perpetrator) one guilty of writing overly flowery prose.
gratuitesque: (gratuitous + grotesque) unnecessary to the point of obscenity.
farticle: (fart + particle) the physical (ie. aerosolized) component of one’s flatulence.
trashure: (trash + treasure) an object...
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true or false
north korea is suffering the effects of stockholm syndrome.
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welcome, internetizens, to the ragbag
it seems that the amount of ragbag visitors has doubled* in the last day due to a very insightful synopsis from tumblr superstar, mills baker. i am absolutely tickled by this post. it’s like bon jovi incorporating my name into one of his songs or martha stewart handing out my recipe for chicken adobo.
i have been trying to find a group of internet buds with similar interests to share a...
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10 writers who masturbated
andré gide: was expelled from school for doing it in class at the age of 11. his doctor subsequently threatened to castrate him if he didn’t give up.
samuel pepys: liked to masturbate while reading pornography, and then record the experience in coded form in his diaries.
edward lear: was addicted to the habit in youth and ascribed both his depression and epilepsy to it.
yukio mishima:...
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true or false
evolution is a brute force hack.
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malaria as a treatment for syphilis
i was on wikipedia trying to figure out how to cure my syphilis when i came across this:
for a brief time malaria was used as treatment for tertiary syphilis because it produced prolonged and high fevers. This was considered an acceptable risk because the malaria could later be treated with quinine. This discovery was championed by Julius Wagner-Jauregg, who won the 1927 Nobel Prize for Medicine...
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evelyn waugh's first blog entry
dated september 1911; aged 7
My name is Evelyn Waugh I go to Heath Mount school I am in the Vth Form, Our Form Master is Mr Stebbing.
We all hate Mr Cooper, our arith master. It is the 7th day of the Winter Term which is my 4th. Today is Sunday so I am not at school. We allways have sausages for breakfast on Sundays I have been watching Lucy fry them they do look funny befor their kooked. Daddy...
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the first 5 paperbacks
the mysterious affair at styles by agatha christie
the unpleasantness at the bellona club by dorothy l. sayers
gone to earth by mary webb
ariel by andré maurois
a farewell to arms by ernest hemingway
british publisher allen lane pioneered the paperback in 1935. his technique of printing “penguins” on wood-pulp paper and binding with paper boards cut costs dramatically. american...
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true or false
psychology is essentially reverse engineered neuroscience.
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this is just to say
that i have made some layout changes on my blog…therefore it may be really buggy and not work on your browser. it also might crash your system and give your computer herpes.
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my barber had a dream
my barber had a dream last night. his dream was that i would show up today in need of a haircut. and i did. he told me this while cutting my hair. my barber has dreams about me? i suppose that this type of thing could creep a guy out, but i played it cool.
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a thing i do
after someone tells me about his day or the like, i exclaim loudly and with angry disappointment, “what the hell kind of erotic story is that?”
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feague
verb • to stick a piece of raw ginger (or a live eel) into a horse’s rectum so as to make it seem more lively when it is being sold.
note: sadly this word has fallen into disuse and has been replaced by the word gingering. should any of you out there in internetland need to describe a situation in which a live eel is administered as an equine suppository, please consider using feague in lieu of...
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what i did yesterday
i fought virtual bats in a virtual cave at brown university. no lie!
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