April 2010
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f-word summer hiatus
it’s true. the f-word franchise is starting its summer hiatus with this post. for this last post of the season, i have turned to the omnificent english dictionary in limerick form, an online dictionary where users submit definitions for words entirely as limericks—an ambitious project that rivals the oxford english dictionary itself. though they are only accepting words from aa - di, i was...
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sand & sandal
look, i don’t have time to get into etymologies with you today. there is a pack of feral dogs chasing me because i was eating a really tasty reuben sandwich and this alpha dog was like, “why dontcha tear me off a piece, pretty please?” and i was all, “pshaaw, alpha dog. i’m the alpha dog.” and he was like, “wanna bet?” and then one...
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f-words about words
one of my tricks is that i read 6 or 7 books in parallel. among others, there is: the book that i keep on my nightstand for when i can’t sleep, the book i carry in my murse for when i am riding a bus, and the book that i read while listening to my yanni live at the acropolis cd. reading books concurrently like this takes a long time—it took me ten years to get through my laundromat book,...
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ragbag readers' favourite stage directions
who knew that my brief breech of the proscenium would cause so many of you to send me erotic poulets filled with your own favourite stage directions? who knew that stage directions were a thing that a *regular* person had a favourite of? who cares? thanks to 4 anonymous ragbag readers (or people that pretend to read it), today’s post has written itself:
from shakespeare’s titus...
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peculiar elizabethan stage directions
enter hieronimo; he knocks up the curtain
hell is discovered
volpone peeps from behind a traverse
eugenius discovered sitting loaded with many irons; a lampe burning by him; then enter clowne with a piece of browne bread and a garret root
a couch discovered with the duke on it
enter lopez at a table with jewels and money upon it, an egg roasting by a candle
exit orestes dragging...
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an amusing hoax of the grandest proportions
i love me a good prank. and when the pranksters are a remote tribe of amerindians and the one being pranked is a dunderhead anthropologist—even better. the following account is taken from napoleon chagnon’s book yanomamö: the fierce people (1968). here, chagnon tries to record each tribe member’s “true name” the only problem is that this was an invasion of their system of...
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ear & hear
when i was just a wee raynorling, i used the verb heye as a synonym for see. if an ear hears, i reasoned, then an eye heyes. my parents (who are raging descriptivists anyway) never bothered to correct me. so imagine my embarrassment when i got to that place in france and asked where the hole in the wall is that the boys can heye it all. needless to say, i was never directed to that...
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if you are as fascinated with the pacific...
then this actual article that was actually written should be right up your alley. here is an excerpt from “loggers can’t cry: and other taboos of the northwest woods” by jack estes:
A logger who fails the various tests is also taboo: Can he drink beer all night and still get up in time to catch the crew bus? Does he have the proper attire (stagged pants, cork boots, hickory...
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it's all anglish to me
one of my sixteern recurring fantasies involves a world where, in 1066 harold the second was able to defeat william “the bastard” and those pesky normans had to retreat back to france and bake baguettes with their salty tears. there’s grade-a babes in this fantasy too, but let’s not get into that now.
at any rate, in a world where english never got jiggy with norman french...
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it's all greeklish to me
it’s no secret that constrained writing is the magical fertilizer that makes my wood grow. today, we’re going to take a gander at a very clever etymology-related constraint where the only words allowed in the author’s quiver are words derived from a single language.
in 1957, professor xenophon zolotas gave a speech at the end of a meeting of the international bank. it was in...
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bell & belfry
although a belfry is the place that houses a bell, the two words are not directly related. bell comes the old english word belle which had the same meaning. belfry comes from the middle german word bercfrit. originally the word meant “protecting tower” and described a movable-tower used by besiegers and besieged. it then was used to describe a tower to protect...
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