now holding auditions

for raynor ganan impersonators. it will be your responsibility to be my decoy at real life tumblr meetups. i will give you access to all my best accessories (sock garters, pocket squares, eyepatches, a bottomless flask of peach schnapps, etc.) as well as certain never-before-released-anecdotes (about the time that i was caught clipping my toenails in the executive washroom, or my father’s props of choice when instructing me about the birds and how they do it with the bees, etc.)

in return, you will write me a detailed report about what my favourite tumblrs are like in person taking comprehensive notes on the differences between their online and nonline personae. also: who among them is trying to get freaky with whom else among them.

you will be the face of the raynor ganan enterprise, i will be the brains, and sijuwade ogunsakin (my nigerian penpal who writes all my posts for me) will be in charge of the crucial online component.