how to decipher theatre reviews

when the dust jacket of a novel informs you that miss x is “the new jane austen,” you instantly know that her book is full of bitchy remarks, and any novel written “in the style of virginia woolf,” obviously has no plot. similarly theatre criticism can be understood once the technical terms used by the modern critic are decoded.

• brechtian production: the company couldn’t afford a set.
• epic production: a production that is still going on long after the pubs have closed.
• feminist: productions in which over 5% of the company are women.
• high comedy: comedy without any laughs
• naturalism: the depiction of life at its most boring.
• polemic: the argument of a play. sometimes it goes like this:

x: would you like a cup of tea?
y: no.
x: oh yes you would.
y: oh no i wouldn’t.
x: oh yes you would.
y: oh no i wouldn’t…etc.

• polished: overrehearsed and smug.
• political: sympathetic to the left
• working-class-theatre: theatre cultivated to instill a sense of well-being and smug superiority in an audience of middle-class, pseudo-intellectuals.

these amusing interpretations are from bluff your way in british theatre (1986). as it was written by fidelis morgan and his first name begins with an f, i figure that all of the words (and not just feminist) are f-words thus satisfying my weekly obligation to present them.