braver new world

when i’m reading a novel with an ending so depressing that it rocks my faith in humanity and flushes me into a month-long depression, the only way that i am ever able to bring myself out this viscous cycle of self-loathing and misanthropy is to dial up fanfiction.net and read over the cockamamie, home-brewed alternate endings written by fans.

here is the shocking conclusion to a brave new world that aldous huxley never wanted you to see:

Helmholtz was elected as a leader for the new England. Many other countries also followed England’s lead and abolished most of their test tube babies. Marriages was once more integrated into society, and even though at first people were hesitant, it worked. John and Lenina got married, and in the end Bernard also got married.

What happened to Mustapha Mond? Well, John couldn’t bring himself to murder him, but he sent him to live among the filth of the reservation, among Christianity. People were happy now, the new technology was embraced, but it never replaced God or Shakespeare.

John and Lenina’s grandchildren told their story and it lived forever in the hearts of children. It was even used to scare people when they tried to make life easier. Mother and Father were good words now. French, Latin, Spanish, and German were taught in schools again.

Well, games were still complex, but there was no laws forbidding jump roping and hopscotch. In the end, if one would walk through this new world, then they would say. “Oh brave new world, with such things in it.”

see also: tess of the d’urbervilles and <gasp> lolita.