thus far, part 2
yesterday, we heard from the defense attorneys of three different f-words: flizzen, fyllok, and featlet. noteworthy are the different tactics that each used to champion their word:
abby entered the fracas with laughter and sarcasm. she gave us clear examples of how flizzens can keep us warm on long winter nights. she established the pavlovian association that to flizzen = to enjoy freshly baked cookies—that all we need to do in times of trouble is take a deep breath, relax, laugh and be sarcastic and all will be right with the world once more.
pierce, with the skill of a fig-eatin’ roman orator was the first to not only defend his word BUT ALSO craftily jibe at others. he argued that the chosen word should have an exotic feel to it and send all that encounter it to their nearest unabridged dictionary. he thinks the word should be a “showstopper” and what word looks more outlandish than fyllok? not only does this singular word fit all the criteria that pierce himself established but to top it all off, it means “sexually lawless or unrestrained female”. oh my!
whereas abby trained us with cookies and pierce went on the offense, billy dalto seems to be subscribing to the “promote the word by example in a nightmarish vignette” school of rhetoric. first he writes a harrowing account of how he tried to seduce my unsuspecting kid sister with a pail of rabbit butter. then he insinuated that such a gift was similarly successful in sealing the deal with my dear old mom. the scoundrel! what concerns me the most about his entry however, is his f-word selection. featlet?!? four pounds of lard?!? the units aren’t even metric. i cannot think of a less useful word. this is just the type of entry that 4chan hooligans will vote for ad infinitum just to make a mockery of the word idol proceedings. freaking dalto!
and all the while, joshua has been sneaking faffs into random internet pigeonholes and andy has been grassrootedly enriching the concept of fourings.
can you see any utility to a word for four pounds of butter other than in referring to your french uncle’s eclair recipe? is flizzening at a dinner party rude or a mark of respect? isn’t fyllok just begging to be used in a rap song (consider: glock, cell block, mock, hawk, cock, rock, barack, and biological clock)?
with the next entry, however all these questions may be rendered moot.
