the right reverend raynor

it’s going down like this: a friend is getting married this june and asked me to officiate her ceremony. it turns out that i can become cyber-ordained and—presto loopholio—legally allowed to officiate weddings. so yesterday, i became a reverend of an online, religiously-impartial, deity-indiscriminate, church-styled corporation. finally!

this is where you come in: help me select one of the many titles recognised by my “church”. it will appear on both my ordination certificate AND the wedding program.

your options: [POLL CLOSED]

• angelic messenger
• astro-theologian
• flying Missionary
• lay minister
• life facilitator
• metaphysical teacher
• metropolitan
• minister of dance
• mother superior
• mystic warrior
• professor emeritus
• qoheleth
• the very esteemed
• universal philosopher of absolute reality
• wizard

will i wake up on wednesday as the very esteemed raynor ganan, or raynor ganan the flying missionary? should i finally become a professor emeritus or continue being the minister of dance that i am? i leave my fate in your highly-capable, adequately-moisturized hands.

bonus power: i now have the ability to absolve your sins.