pronouncing sex words 102

you wake up to the sound of your zune alarm blasting rule, brittania! as it does every morning at 7:30 without fail. you feel the frictionless satin of foreign sheets, you smell an exotic waft of honeydew and musk, you taste the corners of your mouth and come up with hints of duck a l’orange. you realise at once that you are not in your own apartment; you are not in your own bed. and then an attractive chinese literature phd candidate rolls over and brushes across your favourite sex organ and you remember at once what happened last night.

instead of doing it like werewolves on a full moon, you had the well-intentioned idea of lighting some yankee candles and playing some brian eno through computer speakers. but when you returned to your date, you find that your date is fast asleep. sure you might be able to awaken this attractive phd candidate through grinding, but that is not what tru-playas do. tru-playas do a few quick crunches and then fall asleep with their teeth grit.

but all is not lost, you and your date and your favourite sex organ are now wide awake and it’s time for a mulligan. but don’t be hasty, tru-playa. if you floss that duck out of your teeth, fluff up the goosedown pillows, and keep your pronunciations of sexually-charged words as on point as your game, you might just get yourself a story to post on the internet under the guise of giving out pronunciation advice.

imbroglio: im-BROHL-yoh, not im-BROAG-lee-oh
liaison: LEE-uh-ZAHN, not LAY-uh-zahn
lingerie: lan-zhe-REE, not lahn-zhe-RAY or LAHN-je-ray
nuptial: NUHP-shul, not NUHP-shoo-ul
ogle: OH-gul, not AW-gul
proboscis: proh-BAH-sis, not pruh-BAHS-kis
tête-à-tête: TAYT-uh-TAYT is recommended over TET-ah-TET
venereal: vuh-NEER-ee-ul, not vuh-NAIR-ee-ul

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source: the big book of beastly mispronunciations (1999).
more pronunciation advice here.