the saddest invoice i ever received

for reasons that i shall leave to the psychologists, i have always been infatuated with novels of the prison genre (surviving in it, escaping from it, etc.). because of this ghoulish preoccupation, and mostly as a goof, i bought a book called behind bars: surviving prison. it’s basically a manual for how to endure the many hellish dangers that one would encounter in the slammer. the book gave me some vicarious thrills but i decided in the end that it wasn’t worth keeping and so, i listed it for sale on amazon.com. about a week later, i got this email (note: names have been changed):

Dear Raynor,

Your Amazon Marketplace sale is official! We’ve deposited your earnings from the sale of this item into your Amazon Payments account.

Ship: Behind Bars: Surviving Prison [Paperback]  by Ross, Jeffrey

Ship to: Alex Matthews
Broome County Sheriffs Correctional Facility
PO Box XXXX
Binghamton, NY 13902-XXXX

Buyer Name: Kelly Matthews