audiobooks out of context #9

this is the ninth post in the audio books out of context series. i cannot reveal where it is from or who it is by, BUT you should keep in mind that this week is gelett burgess week and this is an audio clip from one of gelett burgess’ mystery stories entitled, “the assasin’s club” (1912) by gelett burgess. here is a picture of the scene to help give some context (the passage is read by some dope from librivox).

a wanker named pierce was the first person to identify the contextless audio from the last installment of this series. it was taken from boys without fathers (2010) by my homey, riaz moola. riaz was kind enough to select and record this (now contexted) audio clip exclusively for all of you. i am deeply appreciative and were i a cyberbabe, i would toss my cyberpanties at him.  

posts in this series publish themselves every (π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on april 10th, 2010 at 2:41 am. by that time, i expect to have hit the big time with a ponzi scheme that i have decided to invest in very late in its growth curve.

audiobooks out of context #8

this is the eighth post in the audio books out of context series. the author of this contextless excerpt was gracious enough to give in to my plea that he select and record it exclusively for the hot chicks (and other people) that visit the ragbag.

the previous post in this series was taken from (an english translation of) haruki murakami’s the wind-up bird chronicle (1997). steve hely—an omniscient diety—was the first person with a profile on imdb to solve this mystery.

posts in this series publish themselves every (π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on march 30th, 2010 at 19:38. by that time, after a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous, the dude will have finally bagged himself an academy award.

audiobooks out of context #7

this is the seventh post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series publish themselves every (π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on february 28th, 2010 at 12:35. by that time j.m. coetzee will have celebrated his 70th birthday and hunter s. thompson, his 5th yahrzeit.

achtung: while these excerpts are presented out of context, i should warn you that before you go blasting the audio throughout the church pew from which you normally browse the ragbag, that this excerpt gets kind of hot and heavy and is therefore enn-ess-eff-double-you. additionally, this audio sample serves to illustrate how what may be sublime on the page can quickly become ridiculous when read aloud.

the previous post in this series was excerpted from (an english translation of) jules verne’s around the world in 80 days (1873). mark matienzo was the first digital archivist at yale to point this out.

audiobooks out of context #6

this is the sixth post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series publish themselves every (π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on february 8th, 2010 at 5:32. by that time love?, the eagerly anticipated seventh studio album by jennifer lopez (or je.lop as her fly girlfriends call her) will be blasting from my hoopty as i cruise around your neighborhood sipping on gin(ger ale) and (prune) juice.

the previous post in this series was excerpted from cormac mccarthy’s the road (2006) which is a sequel—nay squeaquel—to jack kerouac’s on the road. ragbag pal* steve hely nailed it like he was martin luther and it was the disputatio pro declaratione virtutis indulgentiarum.

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*and writer of last week’s 30 rock episode!

audiobooks out of context #5

this is the fifth post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series publish themselves every (π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on january 18th, 2010 at 22:30. by that time, i will have had my mandibular and maxillary third molars surgically removed. they are expected to fetch a blackmarket price of $50 each or $175 for the whole shebang.

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the previous post in this series was excerpted from douglas adams’ the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy (1979) and was read by the author. the person behind the elena is my name blog was the first to spell it out in the comments section.

audio books out of context #4

this is the fourth post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series publish themselves every ¾(π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on december 29th, 2009 at 15:37. by that time, croatia will have elected itself a new president and afghanistan will have celebrated the 30th birthday of it being invaded by russia née the soviet union.

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the previous post in this series has been lost to the ages. or has it? the second post in this series was excerpted from brave new world by aldous huxley (1931). the proprietor of the what sweaty’s about blog was the first to correctly match the audio with the book.

audio books out of context #2

this is the second post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series premier exclusively on the ragbag every ¾(π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for wide release on november 29th, 2009 at 4:53 (eastern standard time). by that time, the original of laura will have dropped online and in bookstores. should you have attempted to read it, please keep in mind that nabokov’s ghost will most likely attempt to eat your soul.

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the previous post in the series was excerpted (rather rudely) from pillars of the earth by ken follet (1989). the proprietress of the alphalemon blog was the first to correctly identify this—for that, i bestow upon her my most sincere congratulations.

audio books out of context #1

this is the first in the audio books out of context series. posts will appear every ¾(π²√5)² hours. the next post will be on november 13th, 2009 at 23:35 at which point the moon will be in a waning crescent phase (in the northern hemisphere) and a lady gaga song is predicted to be the #1 single (in eastern european night clubs).

the linen anniversary

as today marks my 4 (four (iv)) year anniversary of dispatching curiosities on the ragbag, i thought that i would break new grounds and post something that i wouldn’t normally post. thus, i give you my fourth audio entry, the song, “it probably always will” from the album, it’ll shine when it shines by the ozark mountain daredevils (1975).

this relatively obscure bluegrass/rock song has a deep personal significance for me and each occasion that i listen to it, i am astrally projected back to the time and mind to which it is unfailingly linked. but i shan’t go into that here because i am very curious to learn of your thoughts on it.

also: in order to post this song, i had to check a box stating that i had permission to do so. i have no such permission, and that is what rock and/or roll* is all about.

*this song is more properly classified as country rock. additionally, rock and/or roll is also about raging against the establishment and crooning about chicks.

dead poets

perhaps there is more to hip-hop than lusting after girls in apple bottom jeans and/or sipping a brand name rum as if in celebration of the day you were born. what of the 28 year old grad student studying the ancestors of modern rhymesters for the last five years of his life? is he not entitled to his own anthem to which he can put his own damn hands up?

baba brinkman has made the case that he is entitled to such an anthem and has crafted a very convincing candidate in “dead poets” from his 2006 album, swordplay. consider some of his savvy lyrics and make your own decision:

For a challenge I’m known to approach talent shows with
Poems that I stole from Edgar Allen Poe’s lips
Opium hits dope Alexander Pope’s wits
I was Samuel Coleridge in a trance when I wrote this
And I awoke with the whole song done
I felt the soul of John Donne; Andrew Marvel
Taught me to chase the sun; I can’t make it stand still
So instead I’ll make it run, with puns denser
Than Edmund Spencer’s, and modern lyrics
Modeled on Robert Herrick’s;

the two other audio posts on the ragbag can be found here.

another peculiar holiday tradition: m’aider!

ever since i was really really little, my mom would barge into my room at 6:30 a.m. every may 1st blasting the appended song (vanessa redgrave singing the lusty month of may from the musical, camelot) on a portable boombox. she continues this tradition via phone EVERY year. i post this audio° not so much for your benefit but out of annual pavlovian conditioning.

what’s this? an audio post—on the ragbag? indeed. listen along as thomas stearns eliot affects a phony british accent (like madonna and greenday) while reading his poem, macavity the mystery cat.

Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square -
But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there!