runetooth

since latin and greek have weaseled their way into our scientific and academic lexicon, it’s always rather amusing to come across some high tech device with an earthy name of germanic origin. we place calls and send emails with our blackberrys. we use the kenning-like firewire to transfer our yodeling mp3s to and from our computing devices. we use a thunderbolt interface to do whatever that particular interface is supposed to do. but my favourite of all is the bluetooth standard.

because of its rune-like logo, i always suspected that bluetooth referred to something germanic but it wasn’t until recently that i got the full story »

The word Bluetooth is an anglicised version of the Scandinavian Blåtand, the epithet of the tenth-century King Harald I of Denmark…who united dissonant Danish tribes into a single kingdom. The implication is that Bluetooth does the same with communications protocols, uniting them into one universal standard.

bluetooth does for wireless technology standards what harald bluetooth of denmark did for the local danish tribes in the year 960? how delightfully esoteric.

receiving robo-facials

the fact that modern day photo programs like picasa and iphoto have the ability to recognise my face gives me the heebie-jeebies. i have tried to disguise myself by: growing a beautiful mustache, wearing XL hipster glasses, and shaving off my exquisite unibrow to no avail—picasa can still somehow distinguish between me and my many handsome associates. how far would i have to go to keep these systems from recognising me? furthermore, what is the threshold of abstraction for a face to still be understood as a face? enter scott mccloud and his graphical abstraction scale from understanding comics.

before i start presenting this groundbreaking chart at siggraph, i should note that the function of facial recognition in photo programs is to help catalogue your photo database, it is NOT for helping you organize your manga collection. thus neither iphoto’s literal view of the world or picasa’s high tolerance for icon is better than the other.

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many many thanks to my taekwondo sparring partner for running this image through iphoto and reporting back the results in the scientific manner that this issue deserves.

game genie codes for your phone

back in the 1600’s, at&t invented a thing called custom local area signaling services (CLASS) as a secret code which engaged your phone’s special powers. with the invention of cell phones in 1762, these CLASS became more or less unnecessary. here is a listing of both popular (star sixty-nine) and obscure (star seventy-eight) codes »

• *45: extends the dialtone length
• *52: allows the user to put the current call on hold
• *53 - *55: allows the user the ability to assign distinctive rings to incoming calls
• *57: provides the recipient of an abusive call the ability to request an auto-trace
• *59: allows the user to instantly rickroll any incoming call
• *66: automatically re-calls the last number called once it becomes available
• *69: the name of a sex club in bangalore, indiana
• *71: activates three-way calling
• *72: activates call forwarding
• *74: allows the user to to assign speed calling codes to selected numbers
• *77: allows user to reject calls from parties who have a privacy feature that prevents their number from showing up on a caller i.d. display
• *78: allows the user to change phone status to “do not disturb.” the calling party will receive a message to this effect
• *82: allows the user to block his number from the recipient’s caller i.d. display (this is useful when placing calls of the heavy panting variety)
• *88: plays an audio file of a cat and a todler fighting eachother thus allowing the user of the phone to excuse herself from a conversation involving a boring recap of last night’s biggest loser episode.

age of wonder

in this age of “hard science” and “technology” and “reason” how wondrous is it that one can make a radio that is powered by æther and runs on a crystal?

if you’re havin’ algorithm problems, i feel bad for you son

think your latest algorithm problem has got the best of you? consider the formulae and tables needed to determine the exact sunday on which to observe easter. this calculation is so convoluted that the very act of forecasting the date was given its own name—computus—and was considered by many to be the most significant calculation of the middle ages.

for you to engage in computus requires that you perform a series of complex calculations that factor in the (idealized (ie. integerized)) cycles of three heavenly bodies—the earth, moon and sun—through duodecimal and sexagesimal numbering systems and various other (religious and time) constraints initiated by the likes of hindus, jews, christians, sumerians, babylonians, greeks, and romans over the course of several millennia. even the great carl friedrich gauss° had a hard time nailing down the formula in the 1800’s when computers were only able to run windows 3.1.

for much more, including what the above image is all about, there is wikipedia.

the patina of my keyboard

horatio caine could tell you the following through close examination of this picture:

• that the primary language typed on this keyboard is english (most used keys: ADEINOT vs. most frequent english letters: AEINOT).
• that the user of the keyboard hits the space bar exclusively with his/her right thumb.
• Q: are those le petite écolier crumbs between the keys? A: yes.
• that the most used key is left CTRL, indicating that the user is right handed (as well as supremely tech savy).
• that the the primary typist of the keyboard has extremely well-developed abdominal muscles and most likely read the enitre great books of the western world (2nd edition) before the age of puberty.

is keyboard analysis this century’s graphology? see this also.

this was my favourite toy growing up—a cap rifle that transformed into a freaky andriod with a grotesquely large robo-dong.