evelyn waugh was [spoiler alert] kind of a dick
if evelyn waugh reigns as one of the divine beings of your literary pantheon, you might not want to read this anecdote about his relative dickness.
maybe we need to have heroes. maybe we need to have villains. or maybe we need to see that those we exalt or those we condemn can act just like us, that our villains can be heroic and our heroes…well, our heroes can do something unthinkable with a banana right in front of our anguished eyes.
the following reflection is from evelyn’s son’s 1991 memoir. 

On one occasion, just after the war, the first consignment of bananas reached Britain. Neither I, my sister Teresa nor my sister Margaret had ever eaten a banana throughout the war, when they were unprocurable, but we had heard all about them as the most delicious taste in the world.
When this first consignment arrived, the socialist government decided that every child in the country should be allowed one banana. An army of civil servants issued a library of special banana coupons, and the great day arrived when my mother came home with three bananas. All three were put on my father’s plate, and before the anguished eyes of his children, he poured on cream, which was almost unprocurable, and sugar, which was heavily rationed, and ate all three.

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source: will this do?, by auberon waugh (1991).

evelyn waugh was [spoiler alert] kind of a dick

if evelyn waugh reigns as one of the divine beings of your literary pantheon, you might not want to read this anecdote about his relative dickness.

maybe we need to have heroes. maybe we need to have villains. or maybe we need to see that those we exalt or those we condemn can act just like us, that our villains can be heroic and our heroes…well, our heroes can do something unthinkable with a banana right in front of our anguished eyes.

the following reflection is from evelyn’s son’s 1991 memoir. 

On one occasion, just after the war, the first consignment of bananas reached Britain. Neither I, my sister Teresa nor my sister Margaret had ever eaten a banana throughout the war, when they were unprocurable, but we had heard all about them as the most delicious taste in the world.

When this first consignment arrived, the socialist government decided that every child in the country should be allowed one banana. An army of civil servants issued a library of special banana coupons, and the great day arrived when my mother came home with three bananas. All three were put on my father’s plate, and before the anguished eyes of his children, he poured on cream, which was almost unprocurable, and sugar, which was heavily rationed, and ate all three.

__

source: will this do?, by auberon waugh (1991).

sex libris
the above bookplate is evelyn waugh’s. the latin translates to “diligence enriches” which is proverbs 10:4. because of his nostalgia and love of all things aristocratic, waugh used his family’s coat of arms without being properly entitled to do so. many years after waugh’s death, a pesky nephew petitioned whoeverthefuck-one-petitions-in-these-matters and the use of the arms was finally granted.
i have spent a considerable amount of time throughout m’life designing an ex libris for myself yet because of the permanence of it all, i get overwhelmed and wind up scrapping the concept (much like the time when i created a bitching tattoo for my meaty biceps). of course, if i can con the remscheid ganans to fork over the rights to the ganan crest, my ex libris project would be a lot less daunting.
here is an ex libris gallery for your perusal.

sex libris

the above bookplate is evelyn waugh’s. the latin translates to “diligence enriches” which is proverbs 10:4. because of his nostalgia and love of all things aristocratic, waugh used his family’s coat of arms without being properly entitled to do so. many years after waugh’s death, a pesky nephew petitioned whoeverthefuck-one-petitions-in-these-matters and the use of the arms was finally granted.

i have spent a considerable amount of time throughout m’life designing an ex libris for myself yet because of the permanence of it all, i get overwhelmed and wind up scrapping the concept (much like the time when i created a bitching tattoo for my meaty biceps). of course, if i can con the remscheid ganans to fork over the rights to the ganan crest, my ex libris project would be a lot less daunting.

here is an ex libris gallery for your perusal.

September 10, 2009
tags

auctorial descriptives -or- literary eponymous adjectives

i have always been fascinated by demonyms and so i compiled this fairly* exhaustive list on similar terms related to authors. what really tickles my pickle are: 1. the irregularities (given in italics) and 2. the authors that have not been adjectivised:

Asimovian, Austenian, Baconian, Ballardian, Balzacian, Borgesian, Brechtian, Bunyanesque, Byronic, Carrollian, Cartesian, Chaucerian, Checkovian, Chestertonian, Conradian, Dantesque, Dickensian, Durrellian, Dostoevskian, Emersonian, Erasmian, Faulknerian, Gravesian, Homeric, Huxleyan, Jamesian, Joycean, Juvenalian, Kafkaesque, Lawrentian, Lovecraftian, Machiavellian, Marlovian, Maughamian, Menippean, Miltonic, Nabokovian, Orwellian, Pinteresque, Poundian, Proustian, Rabelaisian, Randian, sadistic†, Sapphic, Sartrean, Shakespearean, Shavian, Spenserian, Tennysonian, Thurberesque, Thoreauvian, Tolkienian, Tolstoyan, Trollopian, Vergilian, Voltairean, Vonnegutian, Waughian, Wildean, Woolfian.

notice: huxleyan and tolstoyan BUT dostevskian
miltonic and byronic‡ BUT chestertonian
marlovian, thoreauvian, and shavian BUT waughian
pinteresque and thurberesque BUT spenserian

conspicuously absent: twain, poe, hemingway, conan doyle, ibsen, dickinson, rowling <gag>, wallace, et alii

see also: the literary onomasticon and/or this humorous article.

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*i say fairly because i omitted a bunch of classical “writers” that we really don’t owe any sort of credit to. seriously, what literary legacy of any value did the greeks or romans leave for us?

†this adjective from the marquis de sade is the only term on the list that is genuinely lowercase.

‡there are scads of great rhyming words here for my man, baba.

—evelyn waugh, essays
(additional bookcase tomfoolery, here)

—evelyn waugh, essays

(additional bookcase tomfoolery, here)

evelyn waugh’s last blog entry

dated easter 1965 (aged 62)

On Maundy Thursday appeared a notice in the paper under the heading ‘Death of former unionist MP’. I did not recognize this as Phil Dunne until Christopher Sykes told me on Saturday. He was my age. I last saw him just before Christmas, elegant, gay, and I thought how little he had aged compared with myself. He was completely selfish without an element of conceit or self-assertion, debonair, never boring, never morose; a finely controlled temptation to malice; chivalrous, with a sense of private hounour uncommon nowadays. Though I saw him seldom in late years, a deeply valued friend whom i shall miss bitterly.

evelyn died after easter mass, 1 year later.

his first blog entry is here.

December 20, 2008
tags

evelyn waugh’s first blog entry

dated september 1911; aged 7

My name is Evelyn Waugh I go to Heath Mount school I am in the Vth Form, Our Form Master is Mr Stebbing.

We all hate Mr Cooper, our arith master. It is the 7th day of the Winter Term which is my 4th. Today is Sunday so I am not at school. We allways have sausages for breakfast on Sundays I have been watching Lucy fry them they do look funny befor their kooked. Daddy is a Publisher he goes to Chapman and Hall office it looks a offely dull plase. I am going to church. Alec, my big brother has just gorn to Sherborne. The wind is blowing dreadfuly I am afraid that when I go up to Church I shall be blown away. I was not blown away after all.

“befor their kooked?” “offely dull plase?” sheesh, please update the spell checker on your microsoft word or something, pal.

a literary anecdote

when evelyn waugh (my favourite MALE writer) married evelyn gardner (an aristocratic FEMALE floozy) their friends distinguished among the two evelyns (pronounced the biritish way as EVE-uh-lin) by referring to them as he-velyn and she-velyn.

December 2, 2008
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disclaimer